


Just Reminiscing

by gracelight87



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Adalind does some thinking, Canon Compliant, F/M, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:15:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28000767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracelight87/pseuds/gracelight87
Summary: "For once, she wanted to be the soft, pretty girl who smelled like fresh flowers and laughed often. Instead, she was the hard, bewitching girl who reeked of death and desperation. She knew that she could never have that life once she took those final steps, but a tough life of fatal magic was better than no life at all."orAdalind takes a look back on the events that led her to where she is. Set in early season 5.
Relationships: Nick Burkhardt/Adalind Schade
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	Just Reminiscing

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Grimm fic and I hope you enjoy! I have been rewatching Grimm and I just couldn't get this idea out of my head. May not be completely canon, but it's sort of a re-imagining of Adalind's perspective of her life so far.

Adalind had never given much thought how she ended up here. Living with a Grimm and their child in, for all intents and purposes, a doomsday bunker was not how she imagined her life ending up. If someone had told her that the handsome Grimm she had seen while getting coffee would end up being the father of her child, she would have killed them and laughed while doing it. 

She didn’t like reliving those days. The days where her Hexenbiest nature ran unchecked and she had little to no remorse for the hurt and pain she caused. The people in her life at the time were only interested in that side of her, which only served to feed her dark side even more. She did anything she could to hold onto the fleeting Wesen connections she had made, including attempting to kill her now somewhat-boyfriend’s aunt in the hospital.

She hadn’t really considered the implications of her actions before that night. She had no idea that the Grimm would be in the room when she made the attempt but seeing him there didn’t stop her. If anything, it made the Hexenbiest inside her purr like crazy. The human side of her knew that she should have just walked out and waited for him to leave, but she obviously lost that battle.

That was how she viewed herself in those times. As two distinct people warring with each other over control of her body. It almost felt like she was watching someone else do all of these horrible things. The dissociation was the only way she was able to live with herself. It stopped the guilt from eating her alive.

She had never wanted to become like that. Growing up with her mother and seeing how much of her humanity had been lost made her wish that she had been born to anyone else. She never believed in God, but she spent many of her nights praying that someone would come to the door and say, “Hi, Adalind, we’re your real parents. You were kidnapped by this witch as a baby.”

Alas, that never happened. She soon realized that this was the life she was stuck with, and that she’d better get used to it. She played the doting daughter act well, and pretty soon she couldn’t distinguish between her real self and the vindictive self she showed her mother. 

She worked hard in school and made it to college, where she finally felt a sense of freedom. She allowed herself to do all of the things that she never did when she was living at home. She made friends, had a few boyfriends, and even joined some clubs. Her college days held the only positive memories from that time of her life, because it was the first time that she was allowed to live for herself and not her mother. Law school was more of the same, and she ended up working at a small firm that did the kind of work she could be proud of.

All of that changed when her mother came back into her life. “I need your help, Adalind,” Catherine had told her on that rainy night all those years ago. She let her into her home only to be insulted over and over again on her lifestyle choices. Adalind had been happy up until then, but seeing her mother brought back all of the negative feelings that she thought she had left behind.

Enter Sean Renard, someone who she believed she could love and be loved by. He brought out her Hexenbiest side again and it almost felt fun to play with him. She began to feel herself slipping into those distinct personalities again and almost didn’t care until she was fighting off a Grimm while trying to kill a woman who was going to die soon anyway. 

Seeing herself in his eyes shocked her more than she wanted to admit at the time. Monroe wasn’t lying when he said that it made you confront your nature. If you asked anyone else, they would have told you that Adalind was really coming into her own as a Hexenbiest. She had regained the same ferocity that she had tried so hard to get rid of in college. But if you had asked her, she would have told you that she had never felt more distant from herself.

Losing her powers had hit her like a truck. Even though this was sort of what she had wanted for as long as she could remember, she was struck by the realization that she was no longer safe anywhere. She was vulnerable in a way she had never been before. Powerless, motherless, and now shunned by the one person she thought had loved her.

Everything that happened next was out of sheer self-preservation. She managed to make herself valuable to the royal family and ensured her survival long enough to regain the one thing she knew could protect her. It’s not that she wanted to become evil again, she just knew that there were too many people who wanted her dead. It was practical. 

Getting her powers back was an exhausting affair. She was struck by the reality of her situation when the flowers in the field died. Stefania treated this like a happy sign, but all Adalind could think was “why is power always associated with death?”

For once, she wanted to be the soft, pretty girl who smelled like fresh flowers and laughed often. Instead, she was the hard, bewitching girl who reeked of death and desperation. She knew that she could never have that life once she took those final steps, but a tough life of fatal magic was better than no life at all. 

Diana was the one bright spot in all of that tragedy. She humanized Adalind in ways no one believed possible, and losing Diana felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest. She swore revenge on all that had contributed to her daughter’s kidnapping. It didn’t matter the collateral damage as long as she got to hold her baby in her arms again. 

What she did next isn’t one of her proudest moments. She can’t bring herself to regret it, though. Even though the journey was hell, it brought her to where she is now: living with a Grimm and their child in, for all intents and purposes, a doomsday bunker. There was still a lot to figure out, but the one thing she knew was that she was happy. 

She turned to look at Nick’s sleeping form and smiled. He and Kelly looked so much alike when they slept. Nick’s face smoothed out and the pain and tension he held everywhere bled out of his body. This was one of her favorite ways to look at him, when he looked so innocent and childlike, almost like the past 5 years hadn’t even happened. 

Nick stirred quietly and opened his eyes to find her staring at him. He blinked slowly turned to face her. “What?” he asked sleepily.

She smiled even wider. “Nothing. Just reminiscing.”

Her response seemed to satisfy him. He planted a kiss on her cheek and closed his eyes, falling asleep quickly. 

Yeah. She was in a good place. She was still without her daughter, and there were more people than she could count that wanted her dead, but she was happy.


End file.
